i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
