I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
