Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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