I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
