Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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