He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
