Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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