Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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