btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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