I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I did not marry a roomba.
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