i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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