the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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