she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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