I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
