She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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