Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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