i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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