you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
