Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
