he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
