I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
