would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
