It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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