Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
