we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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