Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
