I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My feet surprised me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize