Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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