Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
