You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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