The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
When are your genitals available?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
