Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The air taste purple.
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