A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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