its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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