we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
