I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
