Four minutes until I can fart!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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