he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize