He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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