Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
