oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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