I wish I only lived at night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
