Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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