dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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