in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
