My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Even my vagina gasped.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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