ugly people sure do ruin things
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
