we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
