How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
