i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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