it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
