I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
