i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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