you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
