i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
