Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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