She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I understand Curling. That high.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
