I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
