I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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