last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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