idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
