How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
