the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize