I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's shark week go big or go home
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
