Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
