suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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